to myself.

true and helpful i believe.
to completely stop unnecessary quarrels. this can help me keep things simple.

When you start to feel that you must get the other person to agree with you at all costs, you know you must stop arguing. Follow these guidelines:

Think: Is there anything that could be gained from the argument at this point? If the answer is no, it's time to stop talking, no matter how angry you are.

Don't repeat yourself. Making your point once is much more powerful than repeating it over and over again. This applies in work situations too. Think of yourself like a lawyer presenting a brief. Say what you think, then keep your mouth shut. "Anything further that you say at this point is going to screw up your best chance at a good outcome," says Wolf.

Don't respond to retorts that are designed to make you angry. Ignore them. If your partner or father or friend baits you by saying something like: "You're just like your mother" or "You always say that!" recognize it for what it is and tune it out.

When you hand out advice, don't require the other person to recognize it as the most brilliant suggestion ever. Just say it and move on.

Above all, get used to the idea that the best outcome of an argument is that it ends. Don't cling to the unrealistic expectation that you'll be able to resolve the problem or get the other person to see it your way. Conciliation doesn't happen when two people are face to face, Wolf says. It happens in your own head, hours or days after the fight.

Maybe you'll be able to resolve the issue a couple of weeks later, when the feelings have died down. But many arguments never to do get settled. That's normal. "In the best relationships, there remain serious pockets of unresolved bitterness," says Wolf. Learning how to argue -- and learning how to stop -- will prevent these disagreements from damaging your relationship

Labels: simple

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it was a good weekends with him.
but at the coffee shop, he said adidas have a company trip every year for holidays, either u go for holiday, or u go back office to work.
and i just couldnt help but end up crying.
i couldnt bear the thought of him gg away for few days, with his COLLEAGUES, and being unreachable.
i couldnt bear the thought of being separated from him.
its a very simple thing. he'll go on a holiday for a few days with his colleagues, have fun tgt.
but its just so hard. i dunno how to endure thru those few days without him. i cried, telling him i just dun wan to be separated from him, i just dun wan him to be away from me.
and in the end, he said he promise me he wont go.
am i too much to be asking for that?
ive got no idea. im feeling so lost.
how does it feel for him, if im the one who have to go for a trip?
i guess im very fearful of losing him agn.
i dun hv sufficient confidence as yet to believe tat he wont leave me agn.
should i think for the best for him, or think in terms of wat he had promised and done or not done?
i'm really lost.

i must learn to keep things simple at all times.
dun make it so confusing or complicated, den we will avoid all the unnecessary quarrels.
keep things simple, look at it as it is.
think of how he will feel or think if it is him,
think of things in his shoes.

Labels: cry, simple, trip

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i mentioned abt this... "honey, promise me u wont ever leave me agn, like the way u did, ever agn, can? i dun wish to lose u or even be close to it ever agn. i've learnt n realise how much u mean to me, n how much i need u in my life. "

he said: now u have learn and promise me bout thoes things. dont worry k honey. (: i'll be loving u always. hugs!

and so i asked him if is it tat he cant promise me,
den he said, i promise u honey. (:

so even last nite i asked him too, will he ever leave me agn and he said no he wont.
and he told me tat he will surely love me always.
a part of me feels very comforted, but still, i dunno why, i feel a fear within.
a fear i never had before all this while being with him. or maybe i shud say, a greater fear tat i nv had before.

ive found my job. and there is possibility i hv to work during weekends. and darling wasnt any bit unhappy or blow up at me like the way i did that time whn he first got his job. he was very understanding to me and said tat he has no issues til now, and he can understand de if i really hv to work on weekends cuz its work, ive got no choice.

and i told him, "hmm. but i give u my word that weekends will be stil kept for us, unless i really got no choice n hv to be dere for programs. but even so, i'll get things done fast so tat we stil hv our usual weekends meet up n tym tgt, okie? (:"

i must learn to think in his shoes first, be sensitive to him more than to myself.
before i get angry or do anything, i must first consider wat wil he feel or how will he react if he's the one in my shoes?
i must first consider how does it feel for him, whn sth happens.
and look at things simple. keep things simple.

but im thankful that he's so wonderful and understanding to me.
i must always learn to look at things simple,
keep things simple and take control of my emotions.

there's no need to make things so complicated den get so angry or unhappy.
cuz there's really no need to be unhappy abt all those things.

learn to keep things simple.
i just wan to be happy, remember?
so just look at things simple and i'll be happier too.

give everything,
expect nothing.

we'll get better.

Labels: brief sms msg, expect nth., simple

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we're back tgt!
im so happy and touched.

i noe things will get better and i'll get better.
i just need to constantly remind myself to keep things simple, looking at it as it is,
take control of my emotions.

i'm sure i can do it.
as long as i have the confidence in myself, and believe in it,
i can do it.
its all in the mind.

we'll make it through.
as long as i can think and keep things simple,
take control of my emotions,
we will avoid all the unnecessary quarrels alr.

have confidence and have faith.
he still loves me just as much and still will go on everything tgt w me.

our love is strong.
and wil continue gg strong.

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i said: dear dear, i promise things will get better n i'll get better. and many of the unnecessary quarrels wont happen. but if we ever have other issues, will u stil work it out w me and cont this journey we set out tgt?

he said: as long as u promised and u r sure of that, im very happy and looking forward to every tmr we'll have. and we'll work out every other thing thats coming our way (:

i said: so it means u'll work every other thing out w me tat comes along,
and tgt we build ourselves our beautiful world, no matter wat it takes from us?

he said: yup. (: hugs! muacks!

i said: (: hugs! muacks!

Labels: brief sms msg, simple

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i said: hmm i was just wonderin abt sth. do u think u'll get used to not having me arnd n nt havin me as yr gf, den dun wan to get back evn aft i got chng le?

he said: i dont think so my girl...

i said: orh. so means if i did show improvements n get better, u'll wan us to be back tgt rite? cuz i stil believe in our love. i stil believe we love and need each other alot.

he said: yes of cos! (:

i said: (= u told me ytd u hope wat u did will let us learn n get back tgt soon. hmm. i just wan to tell u tat i equally wish to get back w u soon. n i'll work hard in turning my character arnd. cuz u told me b4, its all in the mind. so this time, im sure i'll get better. (:

he said: u made me smile widely girl. i have confidence u'll do it too. (: thank u.

i said: y r u saying thank you? hmm.

he said: thank u for wanting to put in the effort.

i said: dun be silly. i wan this love to last the same way u do. i said b4 le. i wan to be married to u n spend the rest of my life w u.so i'll do my best de.

he said: okie my girl (:

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look at things simple.
take control of my emotions.

its all in the mind.

we will make it. (:

Labels: simple, sms

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